drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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