She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
