I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
