What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
What a dumb baby whore.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
