i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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