Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
