I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
