Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
