He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
