i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
