MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
