it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
