are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize