Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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