if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
