she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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