hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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