i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I wish you could order shots online.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
