Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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