Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
What drink are we having for lunch?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize