Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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