Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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