Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
