I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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