Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
