i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
there is puke in my bra ... again
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