I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
