You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize