I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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