Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
