someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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