I got chris browned last night
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
