I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
