Define "chronic" masturbator.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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