that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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