Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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