You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
