how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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