i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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