I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize