Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
they're like a gay fantastic four
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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