Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
