my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
