I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
