Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
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