i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Gay?
German.
Pity.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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