Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
