He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
