I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
