either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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