Umm I'm too high to move.
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
