keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
