So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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