My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
