Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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