At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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