It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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