I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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