You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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