I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just forgot I was standing up.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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