clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
