dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
