Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
