omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
