u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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