I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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