oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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